How do I know when I’m ready to start a family?

We’d been married 5 years, when we began to consider this question.  The truth was, it felt like it was the right time, but we didn’t feel “ready.”  We’d purchased our first home, built up our savings, and had spent five years traveling and working.  Life was good, and we were enjoying it.  In fact, although it felt like it might be “time” to consider starting a family, we absolutely did not feel ready for kids.  To be perfectly honest, we were selfishly enjoying living the life of DINKS.  (Dual-income, no-kids.)  It was a comfortable life, and one we were very content to keep living.  (We didn’t know better. ;))

However, there was one question that we kept circling back to, and it was what ultimately led us to make the best decision of our married life.  The question was this;

What do I want my “family” to look like in 30 years?

Now, coming up with a 5-year plan can be hard, but somehow, looking 30 years into the future and asking myself this question, produced crystal clear answers.  I knew I wanted Thanksgiving celebrations that featured a large, full table, crammed full of people.  I wanted Christmas memories of painting ornaments and hanging stockings with my grandkids.  I wanted family trips, Sunday dinners, and my walls full of family photos.  I could picture my retirement, and it wasn’t a destination or a balance sheet; it was people.

And if I wanted all the above, it started with… children.

Now, there are many ways to go about this.  Biologically, Adoption, Fostering…  I want to be cautious here, because many of my friends wanted these things too, but we often take for granted that if we want it, we can have it.  That’s not always the case.  Thankfully, as I look back, I can joyfully attest that those same friends who struggled with pregnancy, created the life they desired through other avenues.  My darling children, if you should hit some roadblock on your journey to growing your family, just choose an alternate path.  It’s not the route that is important, it’s the destination.

And so, with a clear vision of the life we wanted, we decided to start growing our family, ready or not.

How will you know when you are ready?  (Or, what if you find out you are pregnant when you were least expecting it?)  You will likely never have as much money as you would wish, your home will not be “big enough,” you most certainly will not be prepared for what is coming, regardless of all the books you’ve read.  But I can promise you this; it will all be worth it!  As I look at the two of you, now nearly grown and out of the house, I can honestly say, after my Salvation through Jesus, and marrying your Pappa, the two of you are the greatest gifts of my life.